“Well behaved women seldom make history”
Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Women often take this quote as encouragement to go on a girls weekend away, an excuse to go wild. For me this quote is than this, it’s a celebration of women who choose to be defined by their courage, bravery and decisions to go after the the life they want to live, instead of being confined by “appropriateness.” Call them bold, fearless or powerful, these are women who light up a room with their magnetic energy. They intimidate the close-minded and inspire those who have long hungered for tangible proof that they too will serve themselves well by igniting their passions and relishing in their independence. I have a handful of these women in my life, and they have each helped me to unleash my inner badass. Here are some things that all adventurous, alpha-women do:
WE CULTIVATE A LIFE WE ACTUALLY ENJOY LIVING
Whether single or coupled up, or in that complicated grey area I’m currently residing in, all badass women commit to creating and living a life they love. While they might not feel 100% comfortable initially, they push themselves to take the class, book the ticket, try the restaurant, and understand that life won’t wait for them if they’re choosing to wait for someone significant to enjoy it with. My life involves a LOT of travel and adventures, but yours might involve perfecting that crochet stitch, or learning to bake the perfect apple pie. Whatever your passion is, follow it with gusto.
WE DON’T HESITATE
Either its walking up to a stranger and saying hello, putting in an offer for an apartment you want or asking your boss for more responsibility, bold women would rather risk hearing “no” than sit on the sidelines and hope someone else will bring the opportunity they desire.
WE DON’T PUT OURSELVES DOWN
Very few men and women walk this earth feeling 100% happy with their life 100% of the time. But fearless women specialising in badassery accept the fact that there will always be someone smarter, thinner or younger than us. We don’t stress it, because that’s not the point to life. You’re not defined by one attribute (and certainly not by something as trivial as smile lines or dimples in butt cheeks.) You know you’re an entire package, and that fact is so fucking awesome that it demands to be spoken about with R.E.S.P.E.C.T.
WE DON’T NEED A HUSBAND, BUT WE’RE OPEN TO HAVING A PARTNER
In a world where singledom is looked at as a disease that needs to be treated, its often refreshing to meet a women who is not only OK being on her own, but unwilling to compromise the time she spends with friends, on her career or enjoying her hobbies just to have any old someone in her life. Fearless women aren’t looking for Prince Charming, in fact if he came knocking she’s more likely to tell him to take a hike. Alone. We’re quite happy not even looking, because the bold and fearless woman is only excited when she meets a man who understands her, accepts her, respects her and himself and is looking in the same direction for life as she is. All alpha females know that being along and being lonely are very different, and we’re more than happy to remind those who forget that fact.
WE DON’T WASTE TIME WISHING
We all have life stuff that we wish would have gone differently, but bold women know that the only thing the past can do for her is serve as a lesson for the future. Learn from the past, then forget it and move on. Don’t dwell on the could-have-beens, focus on the here and now.
WE CALL PEOPLE OUT
Bold women aren’t the type to sit silently and let others be disrespected or violated, and then go cry about it over cocktails later. We will constantly call those people out, defending those who aren’t so bold and fearless, setting boundaries for what is and isn’t ok behaviour. And because we don’t dwell, we also move forward right then and there.
WE KNOW WHEN TO WALK AWAY
OK, this might be something I’m still learning, but generally bold women know that bending ourselves backward, forward and then backward again in a crazy attempt to make something work (a friendship, relationship, failed decision) usually just means we’re investing time and energy into something that is failing to give us respectable returns.
WE EXPECT FACETIME
Witty texting sessions are all well and good, and can serve as fabulous foreplay inbetween dates but spending day after day texting a guy you’ve never met, or worse – never intends on meeing you? No thanks. Fearless women are not looking for penpals. Instead of spending hours replying to winky faces, we encourage face-to-face contact because we know that any man who is serious about us will want to see our real smiles in real time.
WE GIVE OURSELVES REAL CHANCES
If we’re looking for a life partner (and often we’re not), swiping right and Match.com have their places, but all fearless women know that there is real value in getting out into the world and having some human interaction in a space that’s supportive of introduction (so not your local club.) Networking events, gallery openings, cooking classes, sports bars, or even a trip overseas can give you endless opportunities to meet new people.
WE NEVER PRETEND WE’RE ON AN EPISODE OF THE BACHELOR
Compete for a man’s attention and affections?
You’re kidding, right?
WE ALSO NEVER PRETNED WE’RE A KARDASHIAN
We aspire to be a star in reality, not a reality star.
WE SEE OURSELVES AS AN INVESTMENT
Fearless women take pride in themselves. Everything from our word to our work ethic, our reputation to our friends, our manicure to our handshake screams that we are women who invest in ourselves without the slightest bit of an apology.
WE DON’T PLAY THE VICTIM
We know that people will let us down, or even screw us over – such is life right? What we don’t do is agonise and re-play entire scenarios a million times over. We know we are in complete control of how we react to a situation and when the going gets tough, we learn our lessons, roll up our sleeves and get tougher.
WE DARE TO GO FOR IT
Whatever “it” is, we want it. The job, the guy, the bucket list experience – bold women think things through, make a plan and bring their own unique idea of happiness into fruition. We don’t wait around for someone else to do it for us, we get out there and take it for ourselves.
WE WOULD NEVER PUT OUR LIVES ON HOLD TO ACCOMMODATE SOMEONE ELSE’S IDEA OF WHO WE SHOULD BE
Instead, we get into the driver’s seat, turn up the tunes and boldly floor it in the direction of our dreams.
This post is dedicated to my BFF, Teresa. She displays all the qualities of a bold and fearless woman, and I am proud to call her mine. I find myself in complete awe of her most days, which really only serves as further inspiration for me to be more bold and fearless in my own life.